For the last month Ive wanted to meet new people in Cincinnati. Ive wanted to make friends so that the going wouldnt be so tough. Now Ive gotten used to being by myself more and more, now work started and I have plenty to do and ppl to meet. Im looking still to make friends but Im not so 'desperate' anymore especially after these last 2 weeks...
Its crazy how you dont know shit from first impressions... or how people turn out to be worse than you would have thought. I am sadly disappointed to have found that even within 'adults' childish play still takes place. I am shocked that what I considered middle school behavior exists in people who have earned college degrees... I thought that clicques, unfounded nasty gossiping, silence treatment and intentional exclusion were things of uh... 5th grade? I thought WRONG! I thought that meeting new people would be great, but all that glitters isnt gold. When it boils down to it, I rather be alone than have the friendship of certain people.
I just want to get to that spot where I can pick up the phone and say "let's do nothing together tonight". I just want to not have to watch what I say or hide part of me bcuz I dont know who I can trust. I just want to get there... but I know it will take months... and all I can do is wait. Because good friends, the kind of friend you can always count on, the kind of friend you know would never want to see you hurt, the kind of friend who doesnt judge, the kind of friend who knows when to be sillent and when to speak... those are few and far between. But I will wait...
because they are worth waiting for. But at the same time I cant help but fear that those will always be a plane ride away...
In spite of the tone of my post being so sad, I had a good week and my weekend is going pretty well so far. I went out last night and went shopping and have been productive today. I'm trying to see if I go to Sawyer Point tonight. And church is tomorrow!!
<3 Pree
PS: I found this quote in one of my boxes today...
"We find rest in those we love and we provide a resting place in ourselves for those who love us"
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