and it begins...

Thinking of the book Ive been reading and about how I am "feeling" today, I really shouldnt try to put my emotions into words... because well, it just cant be done. My theory is that keeping half of this crap bottled up doesnt help either so its coming out... I never stick to rules anyways...

Seeing the way things are, I finally told my mom about Felipe. And by that I mean "yeah, we are not talking anymore... i dont want to talk about it" As usual she tried to pry into it but I just couldn't talk about it, especially with her. I understand she is concerned and curious but geez... she sure doesnt make life easy. "How could you stop liking him? I remember you liked him so much... oh! is the problem with him? Was it jealousy? Does he think something happened with Roberto? Why dont you want to be with him? Arent you feeling alone? Are you happy? You sound so sad sweetie. Why dont you try to make things work? Im sure its just a misunderstanding, how would he not adore you? Why dont you come to Brazil? Come be with me so you dont have to think of Felipe. Give it time, time heals everything. If its meant to be it will happen"... mind you, I didnt say anything! She just went on and on... GEEZ Mom, way to help make things tougher!!! Of all days, today!

You know... Ive been working to be strong. But not everyday and every moment are as easy as others... being back in Cincinnati most defitinely makes things a little harder in my heart/mind but on top of it my day has been more of an emotional roller coaster than anything else. Im strong but not as strong as I want to be, at least not yet. The amount of stimuli Ive been exposed has been overwhelming. What do I mean? Today alone Ive felt exhausted, happy, anxious, scared, angry, exhilarated, in peace... Why so much all together? Well...
* The drive this morning was so pleasant I was sad when I arrived in Orlando.
* I was early to the airport, but my flight was delayed.
*I was super cold in the plane bcuz I forgot my sweater, but I was excited this guy on the plane hit on me (note to self, dont seem so young by saying "i just graduated..." as he might read "i am still an irresponsible college kid") .
* I actually made it to my connecting flight. But they lost my luggage.
* Traffic was killer at rush hour but the shuttle driver gave me his number and suggested "he show me around town this wknd" (heheh... not that I intend to call but still felt nice)
* I got my car!!!! but it took 2.5 hours AND I forgot my camera...
* I drove my beautiful new red car, but I got lost 3 times
* I went to my new apartment, and its beautiful and smells like fresh paint... but it isnt quite how I remembered it... somehow I forgot there is no heater in the bedroom! (oh boy... its going to be a hard winter)
* I took pictures of the car and the apartment, but cant find the cord to upload the pictures and share them with you.

As you can see, Ive been all over the place... but Im still optimistic =) Im getting off the bed on my right foot tomorrow.

I'm moving to the new place but probably wont have internet (or tv) for quite a few days, I will obviously do my best to entertain myself but phone calls from my faves are more than appreciated!

Thats it, Im done writing. Gonna flip through some channels and try to soak in all the TV I can tonight.

Muah!
Pree