this is the year (cross my fingers)

Regardless of what the holiday it is, we always know that One) we have the day off and Two) there is a specific way you should feel or celebrate it. I know it sounds like a load of crap, and I know each and everyone of you will say that you make of it what you want... fools I say to you! Stop lying to yourselves.

There are a few holidays that Im not too attached to... some, like Labor Day, are just a day off and tahts okay. Some like 4th July, should probably just be a day off but I tend to make a big deal of it, because some of my friends always get together (I'd say it is my one big tradition so far). And Xmas and New Years holidays are supposed to be a big deal, but to me they just arent.

I dont know if its because my family has always been kinda separated at this time, or if I rarely have spent it with "the one person i 'love' "or what it is... but they just arent my favorite. There is a clear image of what it should be, and that totally doesnt match up with how it goes down in my life.

Christmas is usually not great but defitinely good... now New Years, its always so depressing. You have the countdown... 5...4...3...2...1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! all these people are hugging, kissing, jumping for joy... and Im often just blah. I do smile, and hug and all that jazz but seriously? Arent we all just waiting for midnight so we can go home and sleep? Mine sucks... at 9 PM I had already called my parents in Brazil and wished them Happy New Year... this whole New Year thing is soo subjective (especially once u get into daylight savings time, and the year having a quarter of a day and such). This year its even worse... Im in L.A. so I will actually be celebrating the New Year 6 hours after I talk to my parents... but regardless of where I celebrate I just wish that I felt different about it.

I know Im pathetic... but I do want that picture-perfect tv portrait of what New Years is supposed to be like. I hope this year proves me wrong... Last year it was close... we'll see in 3 days how this year goes... but for now Im off to bed, its way past my bed time in the East Coast. and tomorrow we have tons of sightseeing to do!!!

Pree

it was just xmas

Just as quickly as Christmas came, it left... nothing too special about the past few days. Coolest thing I did was probably watch "Sweeney Todd" on Christmas day. Loved it! Totally recommend it... you know who is in it? No, Im not talking about Johnny Depp... Im talking about the other Barber... yup, BORAT!!! Took forever to figure out who he reminded me off... but yup, now you can enjoy the movie without pulling your hair trying to figure that one out!

Other than that, nothing special... as it was expected, the food was a.m.a.z.i.n.g. I ate so much I felt sick afterwards - I know, its shameful. But I shall try to keep my dignity and stop there.
More random (and memorable) quotes
- Whats with you having added perks now that we arent dating?
- All he talked about was being an overachiever. At a party! I just wanted to talk about things that dont matter.
- I dont know why, but I just dont want you to leave yet - just stay in the car.
Off to bed since I gotta be up at 5AM to go to L.A.
Pree

I know I am in Miami because...

I know I am in Miami because...

The drink of choice is the Cuban Mojito



Because instead of grilling some burgers and having a couple of friends over, people roast a 70-lb pig and have 40-50 people show up.

Because traffic looks like this...




Because no one speaks to me in English... even if I refuse to speak to them in Spanish.

Because I had black beans every day since Ive been here...

Because in less than 5 days I had Argentinian, Spanish, Columbian , Cuban food... and if it wasnt enough, I even had rice/beans/half-chicken drive thru at And last but not least... the obvious... it is Christmas week, and we have the A.C. going, my aunt is laying by the pool tomorrow and the weather forecast is


There are many many many more... like Publix, Don Pan and the hoochies in mini-dresses at the mall... but I have better things to waste my night with...

Pree

how do you like me now?

I had dinner with a few friends and their families... some ppl look like they are doing better, some not so much - but lets not go into gossip now, Im better than that (at least until xmas is over). I didnt only see my friends (and siblings) but I had the oh so fortune luck to see their parents too.... I wasnt thrilled seeing that some of the parents I saw this wknd 'hated' me when I was in high school. They thought I was 'bad influence' on their children and didnt want me around... I had friends' parents that went as far as blocking my phone number from calling their house... some answered the phone when I called and told me to not call again... and some actually got my number, called ME and told me to back off their kids because they loved their kids and I shouldnt be around! (i know, you must be surprised because I am seriously an angel... ok, maybe not an angel, but I know how to behave for goodness sake... these parents make it seem like i pushed their kids into drugs/sex/alcohol/theft/bulimia/suicide... nope, not me. I was relatively an exemplary child... but why take responsibility for crappy kids and crappy parenting when we can just blame the girl who has no curfew) Now things are different... Im one of the few ppl in our whopping 16-ppl graduating class that actually hasnt 'screwed up' by their own standards. Oh yes ma'am, I did finish school. Oh yes ma'am, I have a degree that means not only something but actually a lot. Oh yes ma'am, I have a good paying job. Oh yes ma'am, I still have no children/husband/live-in mate. Oh yes ma'am, I am a smart, responsible woman... and it all came from that 'irresponsible bad influence' that you didnt want to call your house. IN YOUR FACE is all I have to say.

How does it feel to be wrong????

flash of the past: part 1

For those of you who dont know, Im in Miami for xmas. Im staying at my aunts... for now Ive just been catching up with high school friends and such. I'll have more stories for sure but I gotta have a partial download otherwise ill forget half of this stuff... (this whole post is kinda like vomit on 'paper'... and by that i just mean, random ideas that just jumped out of me without much rhyme or reason).

During the past few days ive met up with old friends and its been nothing but interesting. Its interesting to see how they changed, how ive changed and how some things stay the same. It really is a fun 'experiment'.

TEACHERS: SAVING A KID AT A TIME
This morning I had breakfast with an old high school teacher... I admire this woman so so so much. But I realized that she is probably a HUGE part of why I am 'arrogant', have 'high expectations' and 'dont take no for an answer'. Its always said that teachers touch and change lives... and I would say this woman is the perfect example because without her I wouldnt be the same.

RANDOM QUOTES (so far)
- "So is this a date?"
- "Please play nice with my girlfriend"
- "How is that loser you dated? Did he die yet?"
- "I have someone you could marry"


lastly... tonight I went to dinner with an old friend and that in itself was a whole experience... i might share it in a few days but for now, im keeping it to myself...

Still have to see a few more friends... the 'journey' continues...

Pree

what rules?

who other than me would go on a date and talk about God's existence, communism vs. capitalism and how girls are a pain in the ass? I know, I know... I totally skipped the day when they taught 'Dating for Dummies'. So much for making a good impression... But oh, well... not sticking to those types of rules is so me though. And we all know I cant help being blatantly me. So we'll see if I get a call or if we go out again...

Regardless of how this turns out, I havent enjoyed hanging out with someone this much in a long, long time.

pree

movie craze

Its night and day... the way I feel today from the way I felt on Saturday.

Saturday I (reluctantly) watched 'I Am Legend'. See, I didnt want to come out already and say 'I dont like mean movies' so I agreed to watch it... sitting on the movie chair was almost torture - needless to say I did as much as possible not to look at the screen.

But then today, we watched August Rush. And it was A M A Z I N G! There is something about sitting in the theater and letting myself get lost in a hopeful and beautiful world. It was most definitively worth the wait =) Inspite of reviews, the movie was actually really good. True, it was very 'hopeful' and almost like a 'fairy tale' but see thats what I want... I want to be happy after a movie. I want to be moved, touched. If I wanted harsh and miserable stories I would just turn on the news every night. But let's not whine... im too happy for that.

Oh how I love a good movie...

Now for previews...

most defitinely watching...

The Bucket List


P.S: I love You

Who told you you could be somebody?

This week I was out of town for work with a large group of coworkers. As usual, we went for drinks after a 12 hour day of work. Around eleven I headed to my room to check email and rest up. Less than twenty-minutes later my phone goes off... and in less than 3 minutes Disappointment made me want to seriously vomit. As if Sunday's call wasnt too much, this time he really pushed it...

'I think you did a good job at work today' (Dont even start)
'You mentioned you couldnt figure out your blinds, I can help you' (NO!!!!!!!!!!)
'If you are not going to go to bed for a while, I can come and keep you company' (NO!!!!!!!!!!!)

I dont mean to be a bitch, but seriously... who told him he could be somebody? Have I ever done ANYTHING to say I was interested? No! Is he not aware we are direct co-workers? Apparently not! He should seriously BACK THE F*** OFF!!

Im gonna stop playing nice and polite and next time just gonna tell him how it is. I dont mind being friends with co-workers but this idiot is crossing the line.

saying what i dont mean

Im in the kitchen eating ice cream from the carton, pouring myself some wine and thinking of inviting archangel to dinner tomorrow when I hear my cellphone.... Ring... ring... (oh god! please be Archangel... please be Archangel...)
After abandoning my tub of ice cream and running to the living room I jump at the phone... it is a number not saved. My first thought (maybe archangel is calling from his house number, instead of his cell)

Me: "Hello" (alright, dont act so happy to hear from him.. play hard to get! play hard to get!)
Disappointment: "Hi... its Disappointment" (I know this is a horrible alias, but seriously, I was disappointed at the call)
Me: (oh... great, shouldnt have answered the phone) "hey Disappointment! how are you?"
(what does he want? its Sunday night, whatever you need you could have just asked me tomorrow... this better not be just a friendly call... you better have a freaking emergency, I gave up ice cream for this call... oh shit, he is talking. I should pay attention)
Disappointment: "I was just calling to see how your weekend went"
Me: (WTF?!?!? This is such not a life or death matter!! Let's not draf this forever) "It went well. Yours?"
Disappointment: "blah blah blah... did you end up going out Friday or Saturday?" (i know i paraphrased, but it was seriously not worth re-telling)
Me: (I should tell him about archangel so he gets no special ideas) "Yeah... went on a date and to some holiday parties. Nothing too special" (special thoughts and feelings running through my mind...)
Disappointment: blah blah blah...
Me: blah blah blah... (I guess we can chat for a few minutes)
Disappointment: "So, do you have a boyfriend?"
Me: (WTF?!?!? This dude better not get his hopes up)
Disappointment: "Oh just dates... so, what do you consider a date?"
Me: (What do you care?)
blah... blah.. blah... (getting no-where)
Disappointment: "Maybe we should get together and watch movies or something."
Me: "Yeah" (no!)
Disappointment: "I didnt even ask, do you like hanging out with people from work?"
Me: "I dont mind hanging out with people from work, I just dont date ppl from work" (ill so date ppl from work if they are worth it... ill just refrain from dating the ones I directly work with!)
blah...blah...blah...
Disappointment: "You seem so... so... lively. Im sure you have a pretty exciting life"
Me: (thanks for the compliments but you must be pretty boring if you think my life is exciting) "Oh no... Im actually pretty lame" (wow, the truth for once... just dont tell Archangel, i want him to think I'm fun )
blah blah blah...
Me: It was nice talking to you, but I gotta get going. (how the hell did I stay on the phone with you for this long?)


I know I sound way bitchy.. but honestly, regardless of who had called I would have been upset... because when I gave up on my ice cream and ran for the phone I had my hopes up it was archangel, and unless it was him, I'd be disappointed. Sucks to be you...

no jinx-ing

Alright... I dont usually write about this because its usually not very interesting but this time things are different!!! Ive been trying not to write about it bcuz I dont want to jinx-it but its bursting out of my chest and I can't control it!

I met this boy at this party I sorta crashed... not sure what his alias should be... a few options in my head but I'll go with Archangel ('pretty-eyes' was a very close contender).

So far this is how it went down...
He approached me at a party :)
My first reaction to him was wayy not smart :
I turned down going to the kitchen to get a drink with him :(
He mentioned he had an ex gf :)
He asked for my number :)
He didnt call me :( :(
My friends talked me into asking him to dinner with them :
He replied in a funny way :) and said let's do it another day :
I felt stupid :(
He asked me to dinner :)
He got all cleaned up and smelling good for dinner :)
He pocked fun at me a lot :)
We sat at the table for 30 minutes after we finished eating :)
He said I could pay 'next time' :)
He hasnt called again :)
His last text to me had a 'winking smiley' :) (Im reading into that smiley as much as its possible)

Dont jinx-it, dont jinx-it! I think I might get to like this one...

snow fall

Today was such a special day for me, and I want to share it with you. I want to document it so I never forget how it felt, how beautiful it was and how amazing life really is if we only stop to appreciate the simple things in life.

I felt this way a few weeks ago, but I never documented it... so this time Im making it a point to not forget. I want to live it over and over again. Dont go thinking it's something crazy, like a marriage proposal or winning the lottery... quite on the contrary, quite simply today it snowed. And everything about it was beautiful.

Before I went to bed, I knew it was supposed to snow the whole night. Somehow I woke up 30 minutes before my alarm, and instead of rolling over and enjoying every one last minute I could have in bed, I jumped out to look out the window... I was like a little kid on Christmas morning, eager to see if Santa had come. I was awestruck. The snow was falling so fast that it was drawing white stripes over everything I could see. But it didnt disturb the world like rain seems to... the tree branches werent swaying wildly, there was nothing rushing on the street, and there were no loud noises... it was so calm, so peaceful that all I could do was stare. I stared for a long time. I watched the snow flakes pile on top of skinny tree branches, and flakes disolve as they touched my window. I watched how my neighbours Christmas lights reflected red and green on the snow around it. I focused on individual flakes and I focused on the whole image... I dont think there is anything in the world that matches how peaceful snow falling out of my window was. It made me remember how beautiful the world really is.

When I was outside, all I could do was feel the snow flakes melt once they touched my skin. It was a very different feeling. I saw big snow flakes fall on my hand and on my cheecks, but they just vanished without me really feeling them! All I could feel was a very light touch... like the most gentle kiss or a very light breeze. It made me remember how beautiful the smallest details really are.

Lastly, when I was at work, I had the most bizarre moments. Every time I walked by a window, I would be caught by surprise. I would see a very white world outside... it was like a black and white film. I had to watch out not to be drawn in and stop on my tracks... It was the same feeling you get when you go through a big haircut... everytime you see yourself in the mirror you are caught by surprise, and then feel silly for forgetting the big change you were well aware of. It made me see how beautiful the unexpected can be.

I loved looking outside, because it was so different and so beautiful and so peaceful. But what I loved the most was that something that is so mundane to so many people made me so happy. And thats what I dont want to forget... just like the changes in the leaves that came during the fall, and the snow fall today, I want to remember to see the beauty in all the little things. Because life and the world around us is beautiful, and I want to see it everyday. I dont want to grow accustomed to the beauty in the small things... whether its snow fall, a cup of hot tea or someone holding the door for me.

Life is beautiful. And I want to see the beauty in it everyday.

Pree

where is the delete button?

Im not sure if I will ever own up to this again but I gotta get it out of my system...

I met up with someone today. Let's call him Sky (I know im getting creative with my aliases, but I dont want anyone knowing who Im refering to). Sky is someone Ive met before, I had seen him quite a few times before, but for some reason, this time, the moment I laid eyes on him thoughts that should have never crossed my mind did. I felt that shortness of breath, that tightness on my chest feelings that totally caught me by surprise... he walked towards me and I know my whole face lit up. When we said goodbye he kissed me, which he had never done before... needless to say, it replays itself on my mind over and over... Ive told myself to erase it all from my head... the feelings, the smile, the kiss, the words... but the more I think of not thinking it, the more I do!

I cant believe the things that have crossed my mind today, but it's made me rethink my list and how much it will hold in the future...

Pree