this is the year (cross my fingers)

Regardless of what the holiday it is, we always know that One) we have the day off and Two) there is a specific way you should feel or celebrate it. I know it sounds like a load of crap, and I know each and everyone of you will say that you make of it what you want... fools I say to you! Stop lying to yourselves.

There are a few holidays that Im not too attached to... some, like Labor Day, are just a day off and tahts okay. Some like 4th July, should probably just be a day off but I tend to make a big deal of it, because some of my friends always get together (I'd say it is my one big tradition so far). And Xmas and New Years holidays are supposed to be a big deal, but to me they just arent.

I dont know if its because my family has always been kinda separated at this time, or if I rarely have spent it with "the one person i 'love' "or what it is... but they just arent my favorite. There is a clear image of what it should be, and that totally doesnt match up with how it goes down in my life.

Christmas is usually not great but defitinely good... now New Years, its always so depressing. You have the countdown... 5...4...3...2...1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! all these people are hugging, kissing, jumping for joy... and Im often just blah. I do smile, and hug and all that jazz but seriously? Arent we all just waiting for midnight so we can go home and sleep? Mine sucks... at 9 PM I had already called my parents in Brazil and wished them Happy New Year... this whole New Year thing is soo subjective (especially once u get into daylight savings time, and the year having a quarter of a day and such). This year its even worse... Im in L.A. so I will actually be celebrating the New Year 6 hours after I talk to my parents... but regardless of where I celebrate I just wish that I felt different about it.

I know Im pathetic... but I do want that picture-perfect tv portrait of what New Years is supposed to be like. I hope this year proves me wrong... Last year it was close... we'll see in 3 days how this year goes... but for now Im off to bed, its way past my bed time in the East Coast. and tomorrow we have tons of sightseeing to do!!!

Pree