wat doesnt kill you makes you stronger

My drive into work today was everything but ordinary...

See, I started getting onto the expressway... I made the curve on to the ramp but as I started going 'straight' on the ramp my back wheels continued sliding towards the left. Now the details are so fuzzy... I just remember telling myself to let go of the brakes... seeing my car going towards a big deep ditch on the left of the ramp and I turned the wheel to the right. After that... I spun... a few times I think... all I know is that I ended on the right side of the ramp, with my steering wheel locked, all the panel lights on and facing incoming traffic.

I dont remember what really happened, how I really felt or what I thought... I just remember sitting and staring at cars breaking, slowing down as they passed me and thinking 'Thank God its over'.

My hands were shaking... I just sat there until I noticed the windshield fogging up (it was after all in the 20s and my car was off)... I had to do something, but my mind certainly wasnt functioning... insurance? cops? get out of the car? too many thoughts but no thoughts at all... my cellphone somehow ended up on the backseat... I barely managed to dial a friend but then she didnt asnwer... then MRX came to my mind, we rarely talk but I thought maybe he'd help me... I managed to talk to him and he helped me calm down and told me what to do... I waited for incoming traffic to stop, turned around and went to work - determined to not let it get to me.

I thought that was the end... but at lunch time I went out with some co-workers. After I parked and went to put money in the meter, we realized that the whole front of my car was everything but intact. The driver side head lamp... dangling. The whole front bumper... barely attached and cracked in multiple spots. It was so bad I still am not sure it looks that way. Now... that doesnt happen unless you hit something. But did I hit something? I dont know! How can I possibly have hit something and not know it??? But I really honestly truly dont remember hitting anything at all!!!

Now I gotta report it to my insurance to get it fixed... I have no doubt it will be at least $1500, my insurance will go up and ill be without a car for a little while. This sucks... terribly. As if the whole spinning thing didnt stress me enough, now I have to deal with all the added stress getting this fixed is going to bring me.

I didnt get hurt... its defitinely shaken me up way more than I think is 'acceptable', it made me feel really alone and its drained me but Im okay and thats all that matters.

Damn what a way to start the year...

pree

PS: Saturday update... I looked at my car this morning, the snow/salt is washed off and I can see what the damage really was, and Im glad its not as bad as I thought. Maybe it wont cost THAT much...