almost doesnt count

As you probably know, Ive been living in the US by myself for more than 5 years now. This year my sister moved to France. I got a call this week and now my parents will soon be hailing the queen of England. Crazy, uh? My dad is moving first and my mom will wait til the end of the year and follow. So this summer, my dad will be living in the UK, my mom in Brazil, me in the US and my sister in Germany. No matter the distance we still keep in touch... Its amazing how small the world is becoming; its impressive how technology helps us stay connected when even by todays means, it would take hours and hours to go be each other. We will be in four different time zones which will make keeping in touch a little tricky but still totally doable!

When we first left Brazil in 1995, I could have never imagined that one day the easiest way for my family to get together would be for all of us to fly into Paris, which is what we are doing this summer! What a privileged girl you'll say. Its true. I am. I am the luckiest person Ive ever met. I have no right to complain. Ive had opportunities that many ppl dream of. And for a long time Ive been used to the idea of living 'alone and abroad'.

But now the news of my parents moving to London, got me thinking... no matter how lucky Ive been, or how enabling technology can be, you stretch and stretch but never reach... now I cant help but wonder if the price is worth it. My parents sure miss my sister and I - I always knew this was hard on them. I never put much thought into me, and the price I pay. Im alone in this huge country; sure I have some friends who I can call upon. But for the most part, Im pretty alone here and sometimes it sure feels that way. Other than a job (which in all fairness I do love), Cincinnati has nothing else for me. But why move, anywhere else in this country would be just as empty.

From this perspective it makes me think Im strong, independent and mature... makes me think I live for me and noone else... but I think it also explains why Ive held friends and boyfriends so high in my esteem, even when they didnt reciprocate. Its human to want to belong, and today I am feeling like I dont anywhere. And days like today technology isnt quite up to where it should be. But this too shall pass... after all, Ive learned to ignore the things that make me sad.