Power of the Preposition

Yesterday I had my weekly 1-on-1 with one of my coworkers. The main goal of these meetings are for us to keep each other on the loop and get any help we need. I thought everything was fine and dandy seeing that I had spent quite some time getting her the info she had asked for.... but within 15 seconds of our meeting starting she gave me a disclaimer that basically meant 'put on your thick skin because here comes my mighty roar'. Well, although she said a million times and thought she was bitching TO me, she was really bitching AT me. It made my really good day really crappy really fast.

Highlights of the bitching... her accusations:
- 'I dont understand why you are holding back information from me',
- 'No matter what, you are not helpful',
- 'You dont cooperate',
- 'Do I have to go to X and Y (my managers) to get things working?'
- 'You arent letting me do my job'

But what REALLY REALLY REALLY pissed me off was this stupid and patronizing comment 'You are not set up for success, its just too much for you to handle' and this attitude of 'poor you, you just shouldnt be expected to do all that'. Really? SHUT UP LADY! Dont assume I cant do my job because quite frankly no matter how long you've been at the company, you've known me for 2 weeks and you have NO idea what Im capable of.

I understand she is stressed because she wants control, wants to understand and isnt able to... I get it, but guess what? Thats how this project works... DEAL WITH IT! Ive learned to adapt, what makes you think anyone will make special rules for you? If it depends on me, you will have to change just like I did. Its the right of passage.

I know Im bitchy about it now but how did I behave in the midst of all this 'constructive' feedback? Really well. Well-composed, not defensive, and I listened. Yeah getting the short end of the stick without deserving it ruined quite a bit of my day and productivity, but Im glad I know I can take it and she just lost credibility with me.

bitching at me? my ass. Go bitch at someone else. If I dont get an apology, none of me jumping through hoops for you from here on.
I cant handle my work?! You have no idea who you are dealing with.