“One’s destination is never a place...

... but a new way of seeing things” – Henry Miller

Tomorrow I will walk barefoot on the Taj Mahal… the Taj Mahal… the universal representation of eternal love. As I lay here wanting to fall asleep I can’t help but let my mind wonder into the thought of just that ‘eternal romantic love’…

Since we are little girls we’ve been told one day a prince in shining armor will come; we’ve watched movies, read stories, fantasized about our future and witnessed as our friends find their princes. With more heartbreaks than I care to count, I can’t help but wonder how much of this whole eternal love and prince charming are just another Santa Claus that we are made to believe as children. Maybe there will never be a prince charming, much less eternal love.

I’m still young and have many years ahead of me, but Im learning Im ready to meet ‘the one’. Im not saying Im ready for marriage just to find the one who will bare witness to my life and I to his. But the truth is I don’t believe there is “one”, and therefore I don’t believe there is “the one”. Is it then fair to believe there a right match and a wrong match? Isn’t it more realistic to believe there are acceptable matches and not-as-acceptable matches?

One of my greatest mentors once told me timing played a much bigger role than anyone ever thought and that honestly timing was often the ultimate deciding factor as to whether 2 people would work out.

The brat in me things that timing has come and until life decides it is so I’ve gone ahead and also made a list of qualities I’d like my life partner/husband to have… I made this list a few years ago, revisit it often but the more time passes the shorter that list gets.. not because I am compromising but because I am learning to distinguish what matters and what doesn’t.

But as I lay here thinking of the building I will see tomorrow and how much love it represents I also can’t help but remember a lesson I learned from a new friend… maybe the list, the timing, and the Taj are all inconsequential. Maybe I need to start from scratch… basically my travel friend asked me a few simple questions…
• Do you have an ordinary life? And by ordinary she meant for the most part you are born, live and die in the same general zip code. So for me the answer is no, I don’t have an ordinary life.
• Do you want your future to include living overseas, being mobile, flexible, international? Anyone that knows me also knows the answer is yes, I want that life.
So her last point was simple…
• if my life has been not ordinary, and I want my future to be extra-ordinary, then why do I illusion myself by looking for average or ordinary relationships? Shouldn’t my expectations and plans be different as well?...

I thought she made a great point. I realized that today I already expect my friendships (the real friendships) to be flexible and different… I don’t expect my best friends to live where I live – I know they cant meet me after work to celebrate a raise, or come over and share a tub of ice cream amidst emotional tears – instead I expect friends that understand, support, and adapt to my extra-ordinary life.
If that is the case with friendships, shouldn’t my expectations of a life partner be different as well?

So if that is the case… I definitely need to toss out all the fantasizes I’ve been fed about prince cahrmings, I need to probably tear up my current list of qualities for a guy and start from scratch… the problem is, I don’t even know where to begin.

Maybe being at the Taj will bring me answers… or bring me clarity…
For now… Im off to sleep in the city of Agra.