Thursday, January 28, 2010

time is gone, courage came, serenity stayed

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do” Eleanor Roosevelt

How many times have we asked for time to slow down? How many times do we ask ourselves where time went? When we are happy or sad or anxious: life and time are always at odds. Some months ago I asked for time to pass, I asked for the weeks to vanish from me in a blink of an eye. I asked bcz I wasnt in a good place and I knew I needed to distance myself from that "present" to get my life back in order.

Now time has passed... Ive been in the same city for long enough to make it feel like home, Ive distanced myself from uncertain choices where I no longer doubt constantly what I wanted, enough time has passed for me to develop friendships, Ive had enough chances to learn my job... What I am saying is... time has passed and Im doing good. Im doing more than good! Fay-ville is home; I have friends who I can be me with. I am me again!

Enough time has passed for things to fall into place. The happiness I feel is so serene - like a clear sky and a sunrise after a night of vicious storms. Inside of me I feel a quiet excitement, a voice that says "A new day is here, see the light, the darkness and storm have passed. It is a new day and it will only get warmer!" For a little while I've been embracing this happiness quietly, so privately. I've been keeping this happiness close to my chest since it feels extremely personal to me... but now I want to share with you. I know you care about me and so I want you to know where I am. I have bruises, I have scars, I still prefer not to be stretched this way again but I made it out just fine! I am back to my regular self!!! I celebrate me! And I learned something knew... I am resilient. You know what RESILIENT means? It means "returning to one's original form after being bent, compressed, stretched or experiencing misfortune". Yes, that means lighting, thunder and darkness didnt get the best of me... if life does it again, I can make it out in the other end and still be me!

tonight i sleep with a smile on my face... gnite and sweet dreams...
pree

ps: i know i didnt do it alone. I thank God and my beautiful friends - new and old.

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