2 weeks down, a bunch more to go...

I've been here for 2 weeks. Time for status update on the love life.

I was pretty confident before I came down that bf&pree would still be crazy enamorated regardless of distance. But now im not sure whats going to happen to my relationship. A couple of nights ago for the first time ever I thought that maybe the bf and I wouldnt really work out. It was such an empty feeling (and yet familiar). Some of these thoughts I am too embarassed to tell him, but I need to let them out somewhere or they will just simmer in my head. So this is my venue of choice...

"Honestly the bf needs to get his butt in gear. Is my will power enough for the 2 of us? Does he want this relationship to work? How is he showing that? This is the time to track him - where do I draw the line between 'benefit of the doubt' and 'no way Jose'? What is he giving/sacrificing? Does he have to sacrifice? Do I want him to sacrifice for me/us? No. Absolutely not.

I just want my needs met - I need to feel loved, feel secure, confident that he is committed to me and us! That is just so selfish. But you know I do deserve someone who will pamper me. Now I get a feeling he doesnt do that. So what does he do for us? Lately whatever he is doing is not meeting my expectations. We will have to have a heart 2 heart on the subject.

Maybe Im too honest, maybe Im too oepn, but you know if I say to win me you need A+B+C, if you dont at least give that tactic a shot then you are telling me Im not worth you. And I AM WORTH IT my friends! I am!

Okay, get off the high horse priscila. go to sleep."

alright, its bed time.
pree