I believe that one of the most hurtful things one can do is ignore someone else. Although noone wants to be disliked, or mad at, even if it seems negative it still means they are important enough for you to acknowledge their existence, but when you ignore someone it turns them into something insignificant. And we all know we all crave and hunger to be wanted, needed and loved. See, Im not THAT mean. But then what do i do? Oh Priscila... where is all this going? As usual my rambling goes no where... im frustrated at this.
As I mentioned the other day, Ive been trying not to think of a friend. But its his birthday today... I should call him, text him or in some way, shape or form acknowledge his existence; and yet, I just dont know if I should... See, through his actions he has made it clear that I mean nothing to him so why bother. I could be a silly girl and rationalize myself out of this and make excuses for him - "he is afraid ill be mad" or "he is too proud to say sorry". But why make excuses for a grown man? 'I should be the bigger person' you'll say... but what do I have to win? I dont know... it is true that what I get from him I dont get from anyone else (so far)... but I dont know if its worth it anymore. Our relationship has almost always been about me trying, working and leaving wanting.
So to call or not to call, that is my question...
What kills me, is that Im not surprised all this happen.
Torn - Pree.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
speechless
after you've been around the block a few times, you think you've seen it all. Then you learn something different... and all of a sudden, six months seem like it is just too far away. So to entertain myself, Im looking at fun travel spots and procrastinating at getting work done.
happy sunday :o)
PS: Gorgeous flower I saw at the flower show.
happy sunday :o)
PS: Gorgeous flower I saw at the flower show.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
bcuz sleeping in is overrated?
It is 6AM on a Saturday morning, why would I be sitting here blogging you may ask me... oh! See thats what I ask myself too. Between not much sleep, too much work and some frustration I got home yesterday at 5 (yup, got home at 5) showered and decided to lay down for a "few" minutes. It is now Saturday early morning... I slept 12 hours straight. Its a blessing! Its a curse too seeing that tonight ill get tired super early...but at least I get a chance to catch you up on some of my life seeing that the rest of the world is rightly asleep.
Big things first, I had my six month review at work this week; no big surprises. Went pretty smooth even though I was sure one of my managers was going to be in a crappy mood but he wasnt. The main thing I apparently need to work on is 'business maturity'. What the heck is that?! They gave me examples, and went around in circles reminding me that I should still bring myself to work... cant they just say XYZ you do sucks, change it? No... they have all this p.c. and flowery discussion so I have to sit here and try to figure out what they mean by it bcuz for sure my review in July will involve improvement in that area. There I go missing R again, he is the only person I can think of that would talk to me about how I can be successful at work.
On another work note, the next 2 months are going to be a total and utter bitch. Between all the research and travel I'll have to do, and all the stress that everyone else is going to be under, life isnt going to be fun. I already know my weekends will be owned. Im planning on starting going in at 7 so I can actually leave at a decent hour. I should get a damn raise if I make it through the next few months... perk? I may be going to the UK on their dollar AND I can extend and make a vacation out of it too :o) dying to see Spain.
Now on to the personal life... or whatever of it I still have left. Happy because its summer; Im gonna eat more veggies and fruits and grill outside and have lots of after work happy hours. I am looking forward to summer day trips and white water rafting. All the great festivals will arive and I will be happy too.
Love life, seems to be going in the positive direction (which is a tad scary) and Im gonna make the most of it. Its making me laugh and smile (and be unproductive at work) and brings all that non-necessary stress that I bring to my life. But its fun!
But friends, that department isnt doing so well for a little while now.... it turns out Fourth of July plans are shot! Can you believe that? Its our ONE tradition and we arent doing it? :o( Its karma for me skipping last year. Things with 58 are pretty darn good, Sasquash and I are getting farther apart and its freaking me out, MRX and I are actually real friends which is amazing, Slippers and I havent really talked in almost a month... friends here in Cinci are okay - that same old struggle, I try and try but it seems the kind of friends I want is not the ones they tend to be, so Im learning to deal with that. Strawberry is the only one I can really count on, and even she I havent been seeing much. Cant have it all I guess.
Anyways... off I go have some breakfast and a good read of my new book...
Pree
Big things first, I had my six month review at work this week; no big surprises. Went pretty smooth even though I was sure one of my managers was going to be in a crappy mood but he wasnt. The main thing I apparently need to work on is 'business maturity'. What the heck is that?! They gave me examples, and went around in circles reminding me that I should still bring myself to work... cant they just say XYZ you do sucks, change it? No... they have all this p.c. and flowery discussion so I have to sit here and try to figure out what they mean by it bcuz for sure my review in July will involve improvement in that area. There I go missing R again, he is the only person I can think of that would talk to me about how I can be successful at work.
On another work note, the next 2 months are going to be a total and utter bitch. Between all the research and travel I'll have to do, and all the stress that everyone else is going to be under, life isnt going to be fun. I already know my weekends will be owned. Im planning on starting going in at 7 so I can actually leave at a decent hour. I should get a damn raise if I make it through the next few months... perk? I may be going to the UK on their dollar AND I can extend and make a vacation out of it too :o) dying to see Spain.
Now on to the personal life... or whatever of it I still have left. Happy because its summer; Im gonna eat more veggies and fruits and grill outside and have lots of after work happy hours. I am looking forward to summer day trips and white water rafting. All the great festivals will arive and I will be happy too.
Love life, seems to be going in the positive direction (which is a tad scary) and Im gonna make the most of it. Its making me laugh and smile (and be unproductive at work) and brings all that non-necessary stress that I bring to my life. But its fun!
But friends, that department isnt doing so well for a little while now.... it turns out Fourth of July plans are shot! Can you believe that? Its our ONE tradition and we arent doing it? :o( Its karma for me skipping last year. Things with 58 are pretty darn good, Sasquash and I are getting farther apart and its freaking me out, MRX and I are actually real friends which is amazing, Slippers and I havent really talked in almost a month... friends here in Cinci are okay - that same old struggle, I try and try but it seems the kind of friends I want is not the ones they tend to be, so Im learning to deal with that. Strawberry is the only one I can really count on, and even she I havent been seeing much. Cant have it all I guess.
Anyways... off I go have some breakfast and a good read of my new book...
Pree
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