In no way, shape, or form are boys the most important thing in my life... there are plenty of things that trump it, but boys do make for some of the most 'exquisite' stories from my day to day life... partially bcuz I dont think I should talk about work here, and partially bcuz I sure dont want to blab about all the 'me' things I do. But for some highlights...
Crazy convos / texts this week
- "To make [a f*** buddy] work you have to follow rules... so you don't get attached. No kissing, no cuddling, stuff like that... and you cant care if they hook up with someone the next day." (alright.. im taking notes... just in case, you know...)
- "If the ass is not sacred, then what is?" (::speechless::)
- "Its not just where your hands are, its where they are going that really matter" (okay.... ideas running through my mind... continue...)
- "Maybe we should hook up and find out" (you are all talk! and we both know it)
- "why did you put the breaks on [us hooking up]" Seriously dude!!! Now that is just crappy timing!
- "Oh you are not alone... we all have a crush on him. He is just so, so cute! Did you know he asked tall-blond-who-has-a-boyfriend to the symphony?" (WHAT?!?!?! Thats it, I dont like him anymore! damn this boy)
So here I stand... with a boy who I might like in a way that I shouldnt, a boy that is refreshment for sore eyes but has nothing more to offer, a boy that calls me (instead of his gf) when he is drunk, a boy that might like me and that i might unwillingly be leading on, a boy i respect too much to make a move on and a girl who obviously gets along with boys way more than girls but nonetheless is loving being single!
C'est la vie!
Pree
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
id do it all again
there is something truly therapeutic about shopping... maybe its the rush of finding that perfect shirt marked down by 50%, maybe its just the joy of having something new, most likely than not its just satisfying this consumerist need that has been driven into our brains. But too much of anything can be a bad thing... and after 6 hours in an outlet mall, trying on over 40 different pieces of clothes and carrying heavy bags on an empty stomach... shopping just gets to you. Actually... it gets to your bank account. I just looked online to see how much I spent today... and let me tell you, its literally 3 times more than I thought it'd be... and Im not talking about a couple of 20s... so much for paying off my credit cards... But no buyers remorse here, especially with the sexy 'lil black dress' i got (it was 200+ before the discount)... there really is something to be said about clothes that make you feel like the sexiest person on earth... and quite frankly, the sexier I feel the happier they get... heheh...
Yet another weekend of no regrets =)
Pree
Yet another weekend of no regrets =)
Pree
Friday, September 28, 2007
privacy?
This weekend I got thinking of 'privacy'... and how little I usually care about my own. Slippers asked me how can I always be so eager to publish my life and problems for the world to read. Honestly, I dont think anyone reads it... and even if someone did, I really couldnt give a rats ass what they think of me. Im an open book, I have always been... ask and I shall answer.
However, thinking about it I realized that I should probably not put peoples name on my blog. Although I dont care, the people I talk about might actually not be too crazy about their lives online also. There is no sense in going back and changing all of my old posts. But from now on, I will try to come up with 'pseudos' for anyone I mention.
P
PS: I know I havent posted a lot this week, but I'll do it tomorrow for sure...
However, thinking about it I realized that I should probably not put peoples name on my blog. Although I dont care, the people I talk about might actually not be too crazy about their lives online also. There is no sense in going back and changing all of my old posts. But from now on, I will try to come up with 'pseudos' for anyone I mention.
P
PS: I know I havent posted a lot this week, but I'll do it tomorrow for sure...
Monday, September 24, 2007
just wat the doc recommended
As I mentioned a few weeks ago, this weekend I went to Seattle to visit an old friend. As it was expected, I slept barely at all, we talked for endless hours, and if I had a dollar for every time I smiled this weekend, id have enough to fly there again next weekend...
Its funny how things are… on Friday I was all worried that perhaps flying across the country to see someone I barely talked to wasnt a very smart idea. I was concerned things would be awkward but instead it felt just as comfortable and relaxing as slipping into those favorite flannel pjs and lounging around the house...
I really like this friend of mine. I always respected him tons, most defitinely the smartest guy I ever met and without a doubt one of the few people I truly admire. It is sad that we never keep in touch... but I am happy for the times we do.
All in all, it was a fabulous and ‘interesting’ weekend and I wouldn’t have changed a single second of it.
Pree =)
EDIT: Come to think of it, I would change one thing... I would have made it a 3 day weekend at least.
Friday, September 21, 2007
woo and wine
I went to this wine tasting thing yesterday and it was lots of fun. But who wants to hear about wine when I can instead talk about boys... SOOO many cute guys... I seriously need to work on my 'approaching random ppl and striking up conversation skills'. BUT... the cute guy from work was there. And we talked for a few minutes. Heheh... my chest still feels tight and I feel out of breath when I talk to him. It was so hard to keep my composure, but I did ok. I pointed him out to the girls and they too think he is attractive but not out of my league. Needless to say Im thrilled about all this =)
On a similar note, I think I went on a date the other day... I didnt think it was one but he might have thought so. Im so bad at picking up these signals.
And last but not least on my list of boys, Felipe and I talked on the phone forever yesterday... it was really nice =)
Alright... time to pack for Seattle!
Pree
On a similar note, I think I went on a date the other day... I didnt think it was one but he might have thought so. Im so bad at picking up these signals.
And last but not least on my list of boys, Felipe and I talked on the phone forever yesterday... it was really nice =)
Alright... time to pack for Seattle!
Pree
Sunday, September 16, 2007
epiphany
I went to mass today and I felt it was tailored just for me... I have heard the readings about the prodigal son and about the lost sheep and the lost coin many times before, but I never heard them addressed like i did today... and its made me think a lot tonight...
I realized a lot of things but my epiphany from today's mass is that sometimes the longest journey is the one with the shortest distance. Sometimes the people who are physically closest to us are the ones we distance ourselves from the most. Usually its not intentional... but if we are not careful, we end up so blinded in our privilege and righteousness, so satisfied with just 'not doing anything bad' that we leave it at that. What we should be doing instead is actively 'working on doing good'... I guess what I mean is that, because we 'think' we arent doing anything wrong its doesnt mean we are doing things right. And we tend to fall into that trap more often when we are close to these ppl (wether its God, family or friends). See, thats how we end up taking people for granted, and after we reach a certain 'distance' we can just end up distancing ourselves forever.
Thats what the prodigal son is about... its not just about forgiving the sinner, but being the sinner and not knowing it. Its when you are close that you dont think of what you are doing... when you are close you think of rightesouly of 'avoiding the bad' instead of doing good and so you passively 'stay on course'. Its almost like you trick yourself into a spot you never meant to be in... the worse part is that usually these are the ones that the fight is the hardest and most rewarding.
I never thought that being the prodigal son would seem easier than being the one who stays and is faithful in word and deed to his father. Maybe this is why I feel converts have much stronger faith than those who are born and raised in the faith.
Maybe Im totally wrong about all this, but they are making me think. I am starting to love this church... this priest is really good.
<3 Pree
----------------------------------------------------
Some of the other things I realized after church were:
* Sometimes I do things that make me proud, so proud I surprise myself. When that happens I attribute it to luck... Sometimes I've done things I've regretted so much that its made me wonder if I ever really did them or if it was all a nightmare. When that happens I tend to beat it over my head for ever. What I dont know what to do is when the same thing makes me feel proud and regret all at once. How can you regret something you are proud of? or how can you be proud of something you regret?
* When I pray I say "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". So I forgive you, God forgives me (and you)... but then when do I forgive me? I never pray that I forgive myself. I think I need to start praying for that because I dont know how to forgive myself. I still have a lot to work on...
I realized a lot of things but my epiphany from today's mass is that sometimes the longest journey is the one with the shortest distance. Sometimes the people who are physically closest to us are the ones we distance ourselves from the most. Usually its not intentional... but if we are not careful, we end up so blinded in our privilege and righteousness, so satisfied with just 'not doing anything bad' that we leave it at that. What we should be doing instead is actively 'working on doing good'... I guess what I mean is that, because we 'think' we arent doing anything wrong its doesnt mean we are doing things right. And we tend to fall into that trap more often when we are close to these ppl (wether its God, family or friends). See, thats how we end up taking people for granted, and after we reach a certain 'distance' we can just end up distancing ourselves forever.
Thats what the prodigal son is about... its not just about forgiving the sinner, but being the sinner and not knowing it. Its when you are close that you dont think of what you are doing... when you are close you think of rightesouly of 'avoiding the bad' instead of doing good and so you passively 'stay on course'. Its almost like you trick yourself into a spot you never meant to be in... the worse part is that usually these are the ones that the fight is the hardest and most rewarding.
I never thought that being the prodigal son would seem easier than being the one who stays and is faithful in word and deed to his father. Maybe this is why I feel converts have much stronger faith than those who are born and raised in the faith.
Maybe Im totally wrong about all this, but they are making me think. I am starting to love this church... this priest is really good.
<3 Pree
----------------------------------------------------
Some of the other things I realized after church were:
* Sometimes I do things that make me proud, so proud I surprise myself. When that happens I attribute it to luck... Sometimes I've done things I've regretted so much that its made me wonder if I ever really did them or if it was all a nightmare. When that happens I tend to beat it over my head for ever. What I dont know what to do is when the same thing makes me feel proud and regret all at once. How can you regret something you are proud of? or how can you be proud of something you regret?
* When I pray I say "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". So I forgive you, God forgives me (and you)... but then when do I forgive me? I never pray that I forgive myself. I think I need to start praying for that because I dont know how to forgive myself. I still have a lot to work on...
Saturday, September 15, 2007
murphy's law
maybe its the time of the month, maybe ive been drinking spoiled milk, maybe my brain is playing tricks on me... but boy, oh boy... ive just been attracted to boys a lot more than usual... let me rephrase that, ive been noticing them more than usual... almost in a freakish way!
Today i had to stop myself from thinking what it must be like to kiss this guy i met. He must be around 27, works at GE, engineering (i.e. smart) and his teeth were so amazingly beautiful!!! I was telling myself 'look at his eyes, look at his eyes' only to find they were just as beautiful. He bought me a beer =) heheh... Then there was this guy last night and he seems like he makes a fabulous friend so I gave him my number and we've texted all day today... then of course there is the guy from the meeting at work the other day. (so wouldnt mind hooking up with him) I thought that was over but NOPE! I found out he is the guy my manager thinks is perfect for me (i totally agree). She doesnt stop telling me about him... from what she's said I found out he is 1) an overachiever 2) cute to someone other than me 3) into travelling (i stalked him on facebook)!!! Best part is I figured out a non-stalkerish way of getting him to have lunch with me at work!!!
It must be the hormones!!! or maybe its that whole murphy's law that says 'when u arent looking they get all over you' rule... I really dont have time for boys... but damn! ive been meeting some god-damn goodlooking men! I love this whole being single thing =) Im really starting to like cincinnati a whole lot more.
Im going out tonight and lets see if I can get some free drinks =) heheh
ANyways... my ride is here... gotta go!
<3 Pree
Today i had to stop myself from thinking what it must be like to kiss this guy i met. He must be around 27, works at GE, engineering (i.e. smart) and his teeth were so amazingly beautiful!!! I was telling myself 'look at his eyes, look at his eyes' only to find they were just as beautiful. He bought me a beer =) heheh... Then there was this guy last night and he seems like he makes a fabulous friend so I gave him my number and we've texted all day today... then of course there is the guy from the meeting at work the other day. (so wouldnt mind hooking up with him) I thought that was over but NOPE! I found out he is the guy my manager thinks is perfect for me (i totally agree). She doesnt stop telling me about him... from what she's said I found out he is 1) an overachiever 2) cute to someone other than me 3) into travelling (i stalked him on facebook)!!! Best part is I figured out a non-stalkerish way of getting him to have lunch with me at work!!!
It must be the hormones!!! or maybe its that whole murphy's law that says 'when u arent looking they get all over you' rule... I really dont have time for boys... but damn! ive been meeting some god-damn goodlooking men! I love this whole being single thing =) Im really starting to like cincinnati a whole lot more.
Im going out tonight and lets see if I can get some free drinks =) heheh
ANyways... my ride is here... gotta go!
<3 Pree
Thursday, September 13, 2007
boy troubles NOT
After my mtg with my manager yesterday I was all like ‘boys just get in the way of me being successful at work. Then today I have this whatever meeting that I didn’t want to go to… and oh my, oh my…. Who would have thought I would feel so stupid after talking to a boy. Not getting my hopes up, because quite frankly I don’t even know him and didn’t REALLY get a good look… but hey, he smells TOTALLY amazing.
I saw him, didn’t make much of it. But then when he talked to me all of a sudden I felt my chest get all tight. But anyways… we just made small talk before this mtg. And then after the mtg he was the first one to strike convo again. Asking me where Im from and this and that...
I feel silly. Oh so silly, I feel silly and giddy and gayyyyyy….
I bet this will soon pass...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wrote the stuff above during my lunch break... and low and behold, the excitement did pass. By the time I got off work I was feeling w/e about it... too bad, too sad. off to SALSA!!!!!!!!
<3 Pree
I saw him, didn’t make much of it. But then when he talked to me all of a sudden I felt my chest get all tight. But anyways… we just made small talk before this mtg. And then after the mtg he was the first one to strike convo again. Asking me where Im from and this and that...
I feel silly. Oh so silly, I feel silly and giddy and gayyyyyy….
I bet this will soon pass...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wrote the stuff above during my lunch break... and low and behold, the excitement did pass. By the time I got off work I was feeling w/e about it... too bad, too sad. off to SALSA!!!!!!!!
<3 Pree
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
inappropriate weather and talks
Last week Cincinnati's weather broke many of its previous 'Record highs'... we didnt go below 94 degrees and at night it was usually on the 80s. This week the temperature dropped over 20 degrees! The days are pleasant (in the 70s) but this weekend, we will actually reach the 40s!!! What happened? Whoever up there keeps track of weather should really straighten up... It sure seems like St. Peter went to sleep during the summer, and hit the snooze button way too many times when it was time to gradually lower the temperature. Instead he got up this week and said 'oh my! we are 50 degrees too hot! no problem' and just droped that thermostat as low as it would go. I am sure you are saying to yourself that all this crazy weather is really a sign of global warming and nature acting up... but I like my story better. At least there is someone to blame!
As far as nature acting up, she sure is! My ovaries have spent the last 2 hours reminding me of their existence. I know they are there, but still they insist on kicking and screaming... totally unnecesary. Mother nature has proven to me monthly with very clear signs that I have ovaries. I most defitinely know I have them. Now why do they insist on causing this scene every time?!? Maybe they actually enjoy the drugs, maybe they want me to take pills, maybe thats it... or maybe Im just going crazy.
Speaking of ovaries (i know... where could this sentence lead us!) today I had some very interesting conversation at work... during my on-boarding with my HR contact we discussed my birth control (thank God for huddle rooms), I got advice from my boss' boss on good gyno's locally and last but not least my manager openly told me how she is changing my training plan so that I meet more single men! I couldnt help but laugh... Her rationale is: we like you, we want you to stay in cincinnati, if you are alone you might get bored/sad, then you might move and leave the company... so she really did suggest changes to my training plan so that I will meet these (few) available men... lol! At least she said the one from finance is cute (and im assuming smart!)...
Enough blabing for today.
<3 Pree
As far as nature acting up, she sure is! My ovaries have spent the last 2 hours reminding me of their existence. I know they are there, but still they insist on kicking and screaming... totally unnecesary. Mother nature has proven to me monthly with very clear signs that I have ovaries. I most defitinely know I have them. Now why do they insist on causing this scene every time?!? Maybe they actually enjoy the drugs, maybe they want me to take pills, maybe thats it... or maybe Im just going crazy.
Speaking of ovaries (i know... where could this sentence lead us!) today I had some very interesting conversation at work... during my on-boarding with my HR contact we discussed my birth control (thank God for huddle rooms), I got advice from my boss' boss on good gyno's locally and last but not least my manager openly told me how she is changing my training plan so that I meet more single men! I couldnt help but laugh... Her rationale is: we like you, we want you to stay in cincinnati, if you are alone you might get bored/sad, then you might move and leave the company... so she really did suggest changes to my training plan so that I will meet these (few) available men... lol! At least she said the one from finance is cute (and im assuming smart!)...
Enough blabing for today.
<3 Pree
laughing at old memories
Today I ran into some videos... I compiled them quickly and this is what came out.
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e.e. cummings
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. ~Yiddish Proverb
A laugh is a smile that bursts. ~Mary H. Waldrip
We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh. - Agnes Repplier
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. ~Yiddish Proverb
A laugh is a smile that bursts. ~Mary H. Waldrip
We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh. - Agnes Repplier
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Monday, September 10, 2007
Pain is inevitable
Suffering is optional.
Or so they say (ouch)... and so I choose time after time to drag myself into a state of suffering. Suffering (or agony really...ouch) that is so strong at the moment, and that comes back the next day to fill me with regret. Needless to say... I am happy to announce I might be turning into a masochist. My abs are so sore it hurts to laugh, with every step I take I feel knives piercing the back of my calves, typing hurts (ouch) bcuz my shoulders feel like they are pinned as if I was a puppet... I cant believe I pay for this! But hey... all for the pursuit of beauty! (ouch)
I was at the gym today, and for some reason I was in considerably more pain than usual... I felt this sharp sharp pain on my side. I felt my face so hot I was sure I was going into combustion. I wasnt sweating much (thank god) but thats when I realized how truly pathetic I must look to other people. (Not that I didnt know before, but today I must have looked worse than usual.) I have heard I am the most expressive person in the world... the sounds I make (yes, I do make sounds at the gym... my p.t. thinks Im weird too)... the faces I make (i might even pull a muscle there too)... I am usually really bad about hiding my emotions / thoughts / feelings. And everything about me today must have shown how much pain my whole body was in.
But dont think I quit! No no no! I still did my 45 minutes of killer cardio. Because whats worse than feeling all that aichy burning body pain? Getting on the treadmill last and leaving first! Thats the thing with the gym... I cant help but believe that the ppl next to me laugh at how pathetic I must look. Or they just feel good being better than me. So I suck it up and keep running... but today I felt like dying! So I sure wish I had burned more than the stupid 400 calories the machine told me I shed. Shouldnt this whole gym thing get easier as I go??? Why am I more and more sore??
And no matter how sore I am.. I still look fat!!!!!!!!! NOO, you know what!?!... what really drives me crazy is that everytime I get there they scan my gym card and smilling say "Enjoy your workout!"
YEAH RIGHT!
----
From Scrubs...
Dr. Cox: The key to my exercise program is this one simple truth: I hate my body.
Turk: What?
Dr. Cox: Do you understand the second you look in the mirror and you're happy with what you see, baby, you just lost the battle.
Turk: You should give speeches to teenage girls.
Or so they say (ouch)... and so I choose time after time to drag myself into a state of suffering. Suffering (or agony really...ouch) that is so strong at the moment, and that comes back the next day to fill me with regret. Needless to say... I am happy to announce I might be turning into a masochist. My abs are so sore it hurts to laugh, with every step I take I feel knives piercing the back of my calves, typing hurts (ouch) bcuz my shoulders feel like they are pinned as if I was a puppet... I cant believe I pay for this! But hey... all for the pursuit of beauty! (ouch)
I was at the gym today, and for some reason I was in considerably more pain than usual... I felt this sharp sharp pain on my side. I felt my face so hot I was sure I was going into combustion. I wasnt sweating much (thank god) but thats when I realized how truly pathetic I must look to other people. (Not that I didnt know before, but today I must have looked worse than usual.) I have heard I am the most expressive person in the world... the sounds I make (yes, I do make sounds at the gym... my p.t. thinks Im weird too)... the faces I make (i might even pull a muscle there too)... I am usually really bad about hiding my emotions / thoughts / feelings. And everything about me today must have shown how much pain my whole body was in.
But dont think I quit! No no no! I still did my 45 minutes of killer cardio. Because whats worse than feeling all that aichy burning body pain? Getting on the treadmill last and leaving first! Thats the thing with the gym... I cant help but believe that the ppl next to me laugh at how pathetic I must look. Or they just feel good being better than me. So I suck it up and keep running... but today I felt like dying! So I sure wish I had burned more than the stupid 400 calories the machine told me I shed. Shouldnt this whole gym thing get easier as I go??? Why am I more and more sore??
And no matter how sore I am.. I still look fat!!!!!!!!! NOO, you know what!?!... what really drives me crazy is that everytime I get there they scan my gym card and smilling say "Enjoy your workout!"
YEAH RIGHT!
----
From Scrubs...
Dr. Cox: The key to my exercise program is this one simple truth: I hate my body.
Turk: What?
Dr. Cox: Do you understand the second you look in the mirror and you're happy with what you see, baby, you just lost the battle.
Turk: You should give speeches to teenage girls.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
salsa but no chips
butt-um-bum... bad joke!
For a few years ive been wanting to enroll in salsa lessons. My reasons have ranged from not looking like a fool to picking up guys to just having fun... If you've ever seen me dance, you know I never took the lessons. See I learned not to care - or just to drink enough until I didnt care. But last week for the first time ever I decided to drag my butt into 'class'.
Class was nothing like what I expected (i know i know... i gotta stop having expectations). There were about 20 people and including myself probably 3 'latinos'. More women than men (boo face). Primarily couples (BOO face). And tons of them were from work (BOO FACE) We learned two 8-count steps and I think I would get a B (probably a B+) on my 'performance'. But if you put in a 'curve' for all the clumpsy men Id so have an A!!!
I know I cant dance. I know I need some tequila in me to really let loose and get some movement in me... but damn! we had to rotate every few counts and so every girl got to dance with every guy and like that you could learn to accomodate different partners... you know, its hard to accomodate some ppl when they step on your feet... or when their knee keeps on hitting your leg... or when they are dripping sweat on you.
But you know what... as much as I wish I got partners that led me instead of trample me, I give these men a props for trying =) And hence.. I shall be there again on Thursday night... hopefully this time we will ALL be more coordinated otherwise I might need a new pair of feet.
<3 Pree
For a few years ive been wanting to enroll in salsa lessons. My reasons have ranged from not looking like a fool to picking up guys to just having fun... If you've ever seen me dance, you know I never took the lessons. See I learned not to care - or just to drink enough until I didnt care. But last week for the first time ever I decided to drag my butt into 'class'.
Class was nothing like what I expected (i know i know... i gotta stop having expectations). There were about 20 people and including myself probably 3 'latinos'. More women than men (boo face). Primarily couples (BOO face). And tons of them were from work (BOO FACE) We learned two 8-count steps and I think I would get a B (probably a B+) on my 'performance'. But if you put in a 'curve' for all the clumpsy men Id so have an A!!!
I know I cant dance. I know I need some tequila in me to really let loose and get some movement in me... but damn! we had to rotate every few counts and so every girl got to dance with every guy and like that you could learn to accomodate different partners... you know, its hard to accomodate some ppl when they step on your feet... or when their knee keeps on hitting your leg... or when they are dripping sweat on you.
But you know what... as much as I wish I got partners that led me instead of trample me, I give these men a props for trying =) And hence.. I shall be there again on Thursday night... hopefully this time we will ALL be more coordinated otherwise I might need a new pair of feet.
<3 Pree
Friday, September 7, 2007
not everything changes
They say that time changes things,
but you actually have to change them yourself.
- Andy Warhol
Since August 2002, I have done a lot of things... a lot of time has passed... Ive created so many new memories that somehow it would seem that things I experienced back then wouldnt be so 'real' anymore. I could count in one hand how many times Ive talked to this one friend since then. But the other night, when I was already in bed almost asleep, my phone rang and to my surprise (and his) I recognized his voice immediately. What amazes me the most isnt that I can remember his voice... but how natural and comfortable it seemed to chat the night away. And chat we sure did... so much that I ended up oversleeping and was almost late for training at work! All worth it though... It really is amazing how hard it is to make conversation with people I see everyday but so easy with someone I have seen/talked to once in the last 5 years. It really says something about how well we connect =) I know we will probably go for a long time without talking again but I hope that we dont wait for months and months to pass before giving each other a call. He invited me for a wknd but Im not sure if ill be able to make it. Hell, I should take advantage of it soon otherwise we might just meet up again at an AARP convention.
<3 Pree
but you actually have to change them yourself.
- Andy Warhol
Since August 2002, I have done a lot of things... a lot of time has passed... Ive created so many new memories that somehow it would seem that things I experienced back then wouldnt be so 'real' anymore. I could count in one hand how many times Ive talked to this one friend since then. But the other night, when I was already in bed almost asleep, my phone rang and to my surprise (and his) I recognized his voice immediately. What amazes me the most isnt that I can remember his voice... but how natural and comfortable it seemed to chat the night away. And chat we sure did... so much that I ended up oversleeping and was almost late for training at work! All worth it though... It really is amazing how hard it is to make conversation with people I see everyday but so easy with someone I have seen/talked to once in the last 5 years. It really says something about how well we connect =) I know we will probably go for a long time without talking again but I hope that we dont wait for months and months to pass before giving each other a call. He invited me for a wknd but Im not sure if ill be able to make it. Hell, I should take advantage of it soon otherwise we might just meet up again at an AARP convention.
<3 Pree
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
props for being a blog junkie
So there are quite a few blogs I follow regularly... long story short, today I found a post so funny that I saved one of the entries. Interestingly enough the writer deleted it shortly after... but I kept it!!! hehehe... Anyways... Here it is... on his own words:
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** Things I Don’t Understand About Porn **
Why are there credits?
While I understand that the “actresses” elect to get implants because men like big boobies, are they altogether unaware that we can totally tell they’re fake? Is that OK for us to know? Is it cool for us to see the huge scars and the rippling effect and the preposterous wrongness of their size in relation to the rest of the woman's body? I thought the whole idea of fakeness is make people believe that what they see is real, even though it isn’t. Am I over-thinking this?
Sometimes things get in people’s eyes. Is this type of workplace hazard eligible for a worker’s comp claim?
Where do these people find their stage names? I’ve never known of a “community” so densely inhabited by people with one name. “Nice to meet you, friend. My name’s Peppermill.” “Pleased to make your acquaintance, Peppermill. My name’s Kiwi. I live three houses down, between Schlong and Pussywillow.”
Is anyone else disturbed to the point of nausea by the shots taken from behind and slightly underneath the male lead’s junk? Looks like the inside of Snuffaluffagus’ left nostril.
Sometimes the “actresses” look bored, as though they’d rather be reading a Sidney Sheldon book than lay there while Schlong grunts and drips sweat all over her. Is that a natural phenomenon?
Why do some of the “actresses” have to scream so much? Is that hot?
Don’t the cast members (pun intended) know that what they’re doing creates the perfect environment for the spread of cooties?
When casting an adult film, are there actual discussions about which “actress” is right for each part? “No, not her. She’s not flexible enough. And she has a mole.”
What are the qualifications for the job of titling for these movies? Beyond a filthy sense of humor and an address of “my parents’ basement”, how does one know he’s right for the job of naming a movie “What Can The Brown Eye Do For You?”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
** Things I Don’t Understand About Porn **
Why are there credits?
While I understand that the “actresses” elect to get implants because men like big boobies, are they altogether unaware that we can totally tell they’re fake? Is that OK for us to know? Is it cool for us to see the huge scars and the rippling effect and the preposterous wrongness of their size in relation to the rest of the woman's body? I thought the whole idea of fakeness is make people believe that what they see is real, even though it isn’t. Am I over-thinking this?
Sometimes things get in people’s eyes. Is this type of workplace hazard eligible for a worker’s comp claim?
Where do these people find their stage names? I’ve never known of a “community” so densely inhabited by people with one name. “Nice to meet you, friend. My name’s Peppermill.” “Pleased to make your acquaintance, Peppermill. My name’s Kiwi. I live three houses down, between Schlong and Pussywillow.”
Is anyone else disturbed to the point of nausea by the shots taken from behind and slightly underneath the male lead’s junk? Looks like the inside of Snuffaluffagus’ left nostril.
Sometimes the “actresses” look bored, as though they’d rather be reading a Sidney Sheldon book than lay there while Schlong grunts and drips sweat all over her. Is that a natural phenomenon?
Why do some of the “actresses” have to scream so much? Is that hot?
Don’t the cast members (pun intended) know that what they’re doing creates the perfect environment for the spread of cooties?
When casting an adult film, are there actual discussions about which “actress” is right for each part? “No, not her. She’s not flexible enough. And she has a mole.”
What are the qualifications for the job of titling for these movies? Beyond a filthy sense of humor and an address of “my parents’ basement”, how does one know he’s right for the job of naming a movie “What Can The Brown Eye Do For You?”
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
clean up on isle 5
i broke the rules AGAIN... I had dinner with felipe today. I told him shit I promised myself not to tell him. I cried yet fucking again. I used the L word. Whats the point of scrapping myself off the floor if ill just kick myself down again... whats the point of showing him i give a shit if it has gotten me nowhere?... whats the point of even trying to open up and let him (and a whole restaurant) see me vulnerable? oh yeah! "hope" - that lame ass thing that justifies getting out of bed every morning. hope that today is the day ill stop hoping and will know that its all been worth it.
Anyways... I wish I could say dinner was what I expected, but in all honesty I don't even know if I had set expectations. I cried more than I wanted/hoped but w/e. Dinner was more of a means to an end... I want to get to "happy place together" soon. Over and over Ive felt that "shielding each other" was a load of crap and that "open and honest communication" was a must to get there. Was it open and honest? uh debatable... Are we there yet? No... Was it worth it? Yes.
A few not so great things... Obviously 'sorry' or 'i would take it all back if i could' arent things that came out of his mouth... because after all saying it once was enough for him. Im sure he 'feels' those things and because of it I have tried hard to forgive and forget. But damn sometimes i wish remorse looked that carefree on me too. Most important though... I cant believe he still wont tell me the truth... Ive asked so many times. I should have known better than to believe him when the other night he promised he would tell me on monday... as a matter of fact he promised that without me saying anything he would come over to hang out and he would bring it up. Needless to say... it didnt happen. So today when I ask for the gazillionth time for the truth what do I get? Oh yeah.. no response! Big surprise.
Speaking of surprises... or lack of... he didnt talk much. But thats him... and that part i remember well. He did say a few things that made things better. Also I heard something in his voice that said ;im trying' instead of the usual 'when is this going to be over' which gives me hope... bcuz in the end all we can do is try our best. Overall it had a lot of good things... there are still some words that I need to work on swallowing... "i promise" / "i care" / "i meant to call"... he means no harm when he says them but the red flags still go popping. I am trying to accept them and Im sure soon it will be easier. I really am glad we talked... I want to be friends. I want to make progress. I think he liked spending time together too. He "invited" me over on Thursday.
Best part of the night... getting a good look at his crotch (j/k... thats just for u felipe).
No... spending time together in general was good. But honestly best part was everything before we actually talked about any of the "less than pleasant" stuff. He told me about work and Cincinnati and stuff. I just love it... I love just doing nothing together. Just chatting about anything and everything. I wish we would do that all the freaking time. Just spend time together chatting and laughing. I love how "at home" it can still feel.
I dont understand why i bother but in the end of the day... i love him. Sometimes I hate myself for even caring, but you know... I do. i actually give a damn, i actually worry whether he is happy with 'her' and with work and with his roommate. So maybe i can just embrace that somehow and learn how to love him for who he is, and not who i think he could be. I clearly expect too much of ppl... he is a good person. I wouldnt have given so much for him if he wasnt. I should just be more realistic.
c'est la vie!
<3 Pree
PS: I should have known better than to think of all this last night... i dreamt of felipe all night long... argg
Anyways... I wish I could say dinner was what I expected, but in all honesty I don't even know if I had set expectations. I cried more than I wanted/hoped but w/e. Dinner was more of a means to an end... I want to get to "happy place together" soon. Over and over Ive felt that "shielding each other" was a load of crap and that "open and honest communication" was a must to get there. Was it open and honest? uh debatable... Are we there yet? No... Was it worth it? Yes.
A few not so great things... Obviously 'sorry' or 'i would take it all back if i could' arent things that came out of his mouth... because after all saying it once was enough for him. Im sure he 'feels' those things and because of it I have tried hard to forgive and forget. But damn sometimes i wish remorse looked that carefree on me too. Most important though... I cant believe he still wont tell me the truth... Ive asked so many times. I should have known better than to believe him when the other night he promised he would tell me on monday... as a matter of fact he promised that without me saying anything he would come over to hang out and he would bring it up. Needless to say... it didnt happen. So today when I ask for the gazillionth time for the truth what do I get? Oh yeah.. no response! Big surprise.
Speaking of surprises... or lack of... he didnt talk much. But thats him... and that part i remember well. He did say a few things that made things better. Also I heard something in his voice that said ;im trying' instead of the usual 'when is this going to be over' which gives me hope... bcuz in the end all we can do is try our best. Overall it had a lot of good things... there are still some words that I need to work on swallowing... "i promise" / "i care" / "i meant to call"... he means no harm when he says them but the red flags still go popping. I am trying to accept them and Im sure soon it will be easier. I really am glad we talked... I want to be friends. I want to make progress. I think he liked spending time together too. He "invited" me over on Thursday.
Best part of the night... getting a good look at his crotch (j/k... thats just for u felipe).
No... spending time together in general was good. But honestly best part was everything before we actually talked about any of the "less than pleasant" stuff. He told me about work and Cincinnati and stuff. I just love it... I love just doing nothing together. Just chatting about anything and everything. I wish we would do that all the freaking time. Just spend time together chatting and laughing. I love how "at home" it can still feel.
I dont understand why i bother but in the end of the day... i love him. Sometimes I hate myself for even caring, but you know... I do. i actually give a damn, i actually worry whether he is happy with 'her' and with work and with his roommate. So maybe i can just embrace that somehow and learn how to love him for who he is, and not who i think he could be. I clearly expect too much of ppl... he is a good person. I wouldnt have given so much for him if he wasnt. I should just be more realistic.
c'est la vie!
<3 Pree
PS: I should have known better than to think of all this last night... i dreamt of felipe all night long... argg
Sunday, September 2, 2007
the moon perhaps?
alright... for the past few weeks lil jack and I havent been getting along too well. It sure isnt for lack of trying but it got to a point that I seriously considered 'dumping' him and buying a new one. I dont know if the problem is with me or if I just got too used to him. Anyways... today he finally came through =) but if things dont get easier quicker i might have to go shopping. See the problem is that lately Ive been more up for it (probably making up for europe time)... lately ive thought about it more often... Lately Ive been feeling really sexy and comfortable in my own skin. I started sleeping naked and I love the sheets against my skin... ive been spending most of my time at home in nothing but my robe... ive been thinking a lot about getting professional nude pictures...
It could be the gym, or the sexy lacy thongs, or the brazilian, or maybe its just a phase of the moon...
but you know... times like this is when i miss a boyfriend... because as much as i enjoy seeing and feeling myself barely (if even) clothed, it sure would be nice to parade around for someone else... but come think of it, I could manage to just have a fuck-buddy... no emotional fuss and someone would get to enjoy my new sexy underwear other than me. Too bad that is highly unlikely... but hey, its not impossible. Where there is a will, there is a way ;-)
It could be the gym, or the sexy lacy thongs, or the brazilian, or maybe its just a phase of the moon...
but you know... times like this is when i miss a boyfriend... because as much as i enjoy seeing and feeling myself barely (if even) clothed, it sure would be nice to parade around for someone else... but come think of it, I could manage to just have a fuck-buddy... no emotional fuss and someone would get to enjoy my new sexy underwear other than me. Too bad that is highly unlikely... but hey, its not impossible. Where there is a will, there is a way ;-)
Saturday, September 1, 2007
lazy post
Why not wake up to some good laughs...
This one isnt funny per se but I like it... probably all this repressed "love" i have going on...
This one isnt funny per se but I like it... probably all this repressed "love" i have going on...
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